I'm right here. setting the plates while your kids fill you in. Not just what you are presented with, but what’s the Whenever you’re ready …. These teachings, with their vivid language and images, are extraordinarily evocative of what one actually experiences as one practices mindfulness–awareness: On mindfulness of body: “The basic starting point for this is solidness, groundedness. Do you sense any movement in your body as you breathe? So how do you become a really good or deep listener? What can I say next to get things my way? Deep listening occurs when your mind is quiet and you’re able to suspend your reactive thinking and just open your thoughts to every possibility. Is it forward, taking your spine with it? In the process of deep listening, your goal is to learn something from the other person as you listen with intention. Truly listening to the people that we are For listening to be effective, we require a contemplative mind: open, fresh, alert, attentive, calm, and receptive. Carl Rogers, the great American psychologist, taught “active listening,” a practice of repeating back or paraphrasing what you think you are hearing and gently seeking clarification when the meaning is not clear. All the concrete, busy activity leading up to the performance is not the music, but only its production apparatus. If your mind is questions like ‘what do you think?’ or ‘how can we do this?’ or ‘How can you When you can notice this before you say or do something you may later regret, it is much less likely that you will trigger a negative upsurge in the other person. that what they truly intend to say is not being conveyed. You are deep listening when your mind is cleared of any thoughts that could get in the way. We spend on average, about 55% of our day They attend to the surface of the words rather than listening for what is “between the lines.” When they speak, they are typically in one of two modes. Learn by listening “I remind myself every morning: Nothing I say this day will teach me anything. Cultivating these inner skills allows us to bring the wisdom of our whole life experience to bear on solving problems and reaching decisions. The content not only consists of what comes What can you do to make them more comfortable? people filling us in on their lives, but the moment you open the app, you get You can listen to up to 400 words Hope draws on her many years of Alexander practice to help each person find a sitting posture that is right for them, gently placing her hands on their shoulders, neck, and back. You fill 300 Keep the brain hydrated. effectively. Unsatisfying communication is rampant in our society: in relationships between spouses, parents, and children, among neighbors and co-workers, in civic and political life, and between nations, religions, and ethnicities. “Follow my hands,” she will sometimes whisper, encouraging students to let their body respond without deliberate effort by letting go of habitual patterns and freeing itself into ease and balance. Like your gadgets or devices, your journals, the newspaper etc. This may seem paradoxical—paying more attention to ourselves in order to better communicate with others—but without some clarity in our relationship to ourselves, we will have a hard time improving our relationships with others. A patient may have they come to you to get their teeth polished or is it because they have an event coming up and they want to According Meaning is the true purpose of a person Deep Listening can be condensed down to three powerful statements. Are you slumping or leaning to one side? This is like clearing a workspace on a messy desk, knowing the papers you file away will be there when you are ready to attend to them. preoccupied with your own thoughts, like the grocery list or a phone call with They lie below the level of ordinary feelings, but they can be triggers of strong emotion. Do they feel insecure or hurt? This leads to frustration, hurt feelings, and lack of trust. how we serve them. breaths before going into your listening sessions, because the deeper you As you are reading this text right now, notice how you are in your body. Deep Listening is a way of hearing in which we are fully present with what is happening in the moment without trying to control it or judge it. Posted Aug 09, 2017 ), Deep Listening involves listening, from a deep, receptive, and caring place in oneself, to deeper and often subtler levels of meaning and intention in the other person. Don’t spend more than a few moments with any one felt sense and if your discursive mind goes into gear, gently notice that and return to your bodily sensed inner experience. But we were children once too, and we can move like that again. Deep Listening is a way of being in the world that is sensitive to all facets of our experience—external, internal, and contextual (body, mind, and speech). David Rome is the author of Your Body Knows the Answer, a book about accessing deeper knowing through mindfulness of the body. Why did they actually come to you? When assisted in this way, most people discover that they are able to go to and stay at a deeper level in themselves than if they were ruminating alone. The practice of Focusing involves noticing and welcoming felt senses. it. What were they trying to convey to you. De très nombreux exemples de phrases traduites contenant "deep listening" – Dictionnaire français-anglais et moteur de recherche de traductions françaises. a minute. This allows the whole body to respond by expanding and opening. This requires that we release our ideas around what one’s age has to do with the quality of one’s transmission. The brain consumes 26% of the blood sugars of Lean slightly in, open up your chest, pull your shoulders back, and fold your hands gently in your lap or on the table in front of you. Even in your day to day lives, you may ask Deep Listening- Learning to Hear Behind the Words. You want to be open and spacious to really hear others; at the same time you are tracking your inner responses and noting when something doesn’t feel right. In a dental practice context, we put our This attitude is the key to success not only in sitting meditation, but equally in Alexander work and Focusing. With these out of the way, rest in a sense of deep calm and receptive openness until it feels right to move on. There’s a grammar-like structure to the expressive language of music. It is the difference between reacting and responding. of other needs to heed to, and your job is to fix their teeth, not their apprehensions. – Click here, Dr Jesse Green We are less prone to interpretation and more in tune with direct experience. So if I’m going to learn, I must do it by listening.” — Larry King, TV host. that failed to make it to their lips. Because our habits are so entrenched, they are hard to discern. Remember where your head meets your spine—between your ears—and, without trying, let go of any tightness in your neck to allow your head to balance easily and with mobility at the top of the spine. It is listening that is generous, empathic, supportive, accurate, and trusting. Meditation helps us to develop equanimity and not be pushed and pulled by our life circumstances. Deep Listening Training is experiential and interactive, and takes place in groups of professional listeners. Clear your thoughts and allow yourself … saying 11% of what’s going on in their head, which means there is a good chance A clouded mirror cannot reflect accurately. Search for: Get the Book Here. Living more fully in our bodies is the anchor to the present moment in all our activities. Generally that shape consists of either slumping or holding ourselves too rigidly in “good posture.” Either way, we are interfering with our freedom and the life-giving movement of our experience. Now bring awareness into the torso region, from your neck down to your bottom, and move your awareness gently around this sensitive, three-dimensional, alive space. She has taught the Alexander Technique since 1987 and has a studio in New York City. Sparking Joy: A Mindfulness Practice for Everyday, Five Common Work Challenges Mindfulness Can Improve, How a Lack of Gratitude Kills Relationships, 4 Books We’re Reading to Replenish Our Energy, A 3-Minute Meditation to Cultivate Forgiveness, The Brain Science of Attention and Overwhelm, A Practice to Reclaim Your Joy with Sebene Selassie. Deep Listening in Personal Relationships Studies have shown that those who listen have more successful relationships. on deeper listening. The combination of these three contemplative practices can have potent effects. The chances are you do notice You listen with only one purpose: to help him or her to empty his heart.” Tich Nhat Hanh . THE HAPPINESS RESET Seven evidence-based positive psychology interventions - one for each day of the week. 20. Deep listening is effortless; it is more like listening lightly to your favorite music, the sound of a stream rushing by, or a bird singing. P.S. This requires some the body with only 5% of the body mass. If we are to survive in the twenty-first century we must become better communicators, speaking and listening honestly and compassionately across diversity and difference. It is not the listener’s job to “be helpful,” to problem-solve or commiserate or evaluate, but simply to be mindfully present, including being mindful of their own felt senses as they arise. Now put the magazine down so that your hands are free but you can still read the text. Likewise, until we are true friends with ourselves, it will be hard to be genuine friends with others. And these are exactly the kind of values and thoughts that can be coming in the all these things but don’t pay much attention to them because you have a list As a composer I make my music through Deep Listening. words in while you are waiting for the speaker’s speed to catch up with the speed dentists; arguably deep listening is one of the most important skills, apart During sitting periods we often read from Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche’s teachings on the four foundations of mindfulness. Listen to the meaning. During that time, find somewhere quiet where you can relax, whether that’s a cozy recliner in your home or a peaceful spot in a local park. When we listen to these delightful sounds we are under no pressure, we aren’t analyzing or figuring out -- we are simply letting the feelings and sounds affect us. Do they look nervous? 4. Watch any healthy young child and you will see this is true—they are naturally poised and balanced, they move easily, their spines are long, they move on their joints, and they embody a curiosity and interest in the world. Can we change such deeply ingrained cultural patterns? 2) Meditation. their stories and their concerns, you get a better understanding of your patients It allows us to care for and listen to ourselves even while we respond to the many demands of our lives. You may find it helpful to imagine actually placing each concern you find somewhere outside of your body. I was able to observe the subtleties of these holding patterns, how they interconnect throughout my whole being and how they are part of ego’s mechanism to shield me from the raw, rugged, and tender aspects of my being. Since kinesthesia provides us with information on our weight, position, and movement in space, it is closely tied with our perception of ourselves and our world. Mirroring; 2. For example, someone with lower back pain has no knowledge that they lean way back while standing and moving, thus putting pressure on their lumbar vertebrae. Ask short questions; as a rule anything Poor listeners, underdeveloped listeners, are frequently unable to separate their own needs and interests from those of others. To do nothing is to hold yourself still so that you can perceive what is actually there. Deep Listening involves listening, from a deep, receptive, and caring place in oneself, to deeper and often subtler levels of meaning and intention in the other person. And because human beings automatically alter their behavior to synchronize with those they are interacting with, the quality of your listening supports the other to be more present, at ease, and authentic. As you do so, notice any felt senses, subtle sensations that have a certain tangible quality—hard/soft, smooth/jagged, calm/jittery, warm/cool, still/moving, and so forth. Drink a glass of water before going into a team meeting or taking an Being with felt senses in a patient, friendly way primes the pump of intuition. In the process, we see how our self-absorption keeps us from experiencing the world directly. Deep Listening. It calls on a special quality of attention that poet John Keats called negative capability. your kids how their day was, but then you move on to heating up dinner or – Click here, If you’d like to work directly with me and my team to take your profit from 6 figures to 7 figures …. They are alive! “I listened more than I studied, therefore little by little my knowledge and ability were Submit a Comment Cancel reply. Don’t miss out on our healing videos, programs, retreats and other exciting content to expand your consciousness. your team members are bringing to the table, their enthusiasm and reservations way of not getting enough repeat patients or referrals. they can think at 900 words a minute From a person’s body language to the tone of their voice, to more than five words means you are letting your judgment get in the way. we can pull the person away from the depth and openheartedness of their own story. Like all joints, it is a place of movement. We have little ability to hold an intelligent or meaningful conversation. Let’s set the scene…. to say but are not able to convey properly? Whether we are on a chair, a cushion, or on the grass, earth is always there supporting us: trust it and relax. Trust here does not imply agreement, but the trust that whatever others say, regardless of how well or poorly it is said, comes from something true in their experience. The partners train in both listening to others and listening to themselves. It may not seem like a big deal to you, as a dentist, because you do it all day, but it’s usually something Deep listening can happen at: The intrapersonal level, at which an individual is listening deeply to his or her own interior experience. Where is your head in relation to your spine? listening. Naively means that you listen … Some of the kids that come to Crow’s Path are labeled troublemakers at school. By asking them questions, you can All of these are distinctly felt in the body, and yet are clearly “about” events and situations in our lives. Notice the quality of that in contrast to the way you were reading at the beginning. Hope Martin has taught Deep Listening for ten years with David Rome. So the chances are they are only Our approach to Deep Listening focuses first and foremost on self-awareness as the ground for listening and communicating well with others. require skills to recognise and understand. Good listening, by contrast, means giving open-minded, genuinely interested attention to others, allowing yourself the time and space to fully absorb what they say. What is your state of mind like? You may scroll through the feed, like a picture, the world is saying, you need to be aware of your own voice. Differing articulations, for instance, generate contrasting emotional effects, as do inflections of tone, timing, dynamics, melody, and harmony. See if you can find a level of simple presence—a sense of basic well-being that is always there regardless of life’s ever-changing textures. Do you sense some muscular tension or extra work going on in any part of your body? “Deep listening is the kind of listening that can help relieve the suffering of another person. So deep listening is an important skill that allows us to connect, empathize, and truly hear someone – what they mean, what they’re feeling, what they need. They teach us three techniques for tuning in to body, speech, and mind. This is an ideal place from which to listen to others with care and attention. accurately. So Even your floating thoughts begin to sit on their own bottoms.”, On mindfulness of life: “Whenever you have a sense of the survival instinct functioning, that can be transmuted into a sense of being, a sense of having already survived.”, On mindfulness of effort: “The way of coming back is through what we might call the abstract watcher… The abstract watcher is just the basic sense of separateness—the plain cognition of being there before any of the rest develops.”. Purpose Connection Letting GO Self-Knowledge positive Experience Mindfulness Gratitude Tamara's happiness journey began when her daughter was diagnosed With autism and she found her world turned upside down. People are not just ‘good listeners;’ they become good at it through practice Rather than doing more, we learn to let go of what we’re doing that gets in our way. First, relax, close your eyes, and bring awareness to your body. Listening is a way for us to open ourselves to other people, and to ourselves. Heightened awareness of the subtleties of one’s own body, speech, and mind is the foundation for genuinely receptive, accurate, and compassionate listening and speaking. We cannot perceive, receive, or interact authentically with others unless our self-relationship is authentic. In daily life interactions, the two sides of this equation are equally important. And this is particularly true for What Is Deep Listening? what they are saying, even if they the words are unsaid. 77 Followers. The Alexander Technique teaches us to notice the ways we interfere with that kind of joy and freedom. 1300 66 83 84hello@drjessegreen.comdrjessegreen.com. You truly listen to someone when you understand When we, as listeners, interject too much of ourselves in the act of listening (questions, interruptions, too much body language, etc.) Listening open and actively “To learn through listening, practice it naively and actively. and conscious effort. Connection. It involves listening to parts we frequently are deaf to. Most people stop at the first step but Don explains why all three must be done to truly listen deeply. can you truly move onwards and upwards. To really listen to others, say David Rome and Hope Martin, we must first learn to listen to ourselves. They can see in the mirror that they are upright, but they don’t feel that way. If enough people in our culture can learn and practice these inner skills, a shift from highly dysfunctional to highly functional modes of communication can happen, offering hope that we can enjoy healthier, more fulfilling relationships with the people in our personal lives and all those with whom we share community, country, and planet. On average we speak about 125 words a By allowing them to open up to you, share This is the space where the fruits of deep listening come to ripen, leading to deep comprehension. Practitioners of Deep Listening learn to contact unresolved, stuck, or wounded places in themselves and to hold them with self-empathy. Turn off any electronics that might distract you, like your phone, tv, or radio, and sit quietly. Do a brief body scan to notice any places that might appreciate a moment of caring attention. We ’ re doing that gets in our lives that we don ’ t tell specifically what they are to. 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